How to Write a Best Man Speech

Tips and Advice for Delivering a Memorable Wedding Speech

© Marius Goubert

Jan 7, 2009

Writing a unique best man speech can be a daunting prospect. It must be humorous yet sincere, not offend anyone, be meaningful, have originality, and also be well delivered. The following points offer some basic advice for anyone struggling with their material or with their nerves.

Dealing with Nerves

It is very easy for disaster scenarios to plague the mind during the writing process. The thought of a joke going under, the mind going blank, losing the ability to speak, and many other possible humiliations can sometimes be overwhelming. However it is important to relax and be positive. Always keep the following points in mind:

• Nerves are something you just have to accept for public speaking, especially if your not used to it. However they do have advantages. For one thing, nerves will keep you on edge and drive you to meticulously prepare something good. One problem with people being over confident is that their speeches can go one far too long and end up boring everyone half to death. Try to keep the speech short and sweet - aim for about five minutes.
• Keep in mind that on the day everyone at the wedding will be genuinely willing you to do well. People know how you are feeling and are on your side. Just getting up in front of them will gain you the audience's respect and their good will.
• Do not worry about not being funny. People at wedding receptions actually want to laugh, and will pretty much laugh at anything - as long as its wholesome.
• Finally, keep in mind what an honor it is to be chosen as best man. It is a sign of huge respect from the groom and a reflects very well on you. Be flattered.

Speech Content

With these points in mind, focus on the material. There are basically two approaches for this:

1. The first one is very simple. There are thousands of cheesy jokes out on the internet and it is possible to simply assemble about five minutes worth of these and just reel them off at the reception. This approach is perhaps slightly lazy, but even so, it has gone down very well for some best men. After all, the audience do expect a bit of traditional cheese at the reception.
2. However although the following approach may be more difficult and time consuming, if you pull it off, your speech will have more impact, be more meaningful, and ultimately more memorable.

Being Original

• Telling a story is the crucial component of the speech. Firstly, make a list of every interesting incident which involves you and the groom. Ideally pick one which is the most entertaining and best reflects the character of the groom and your relationship with them.
• Do not feel completely bound by truth. It is perfectly acceptable - even encouraged - to exaggerate an incident in order to make it more dramatic or humorous. If you create a fantastic story which has everyone in hysterics, it does not matter if its based on something partially true. If it goes down well, no one will care.

Structure

With the story part completed, the speech is practically in the bag. This will form the back bone of the talk, and everything else can be structured around it.

• You need a basic intro. This could be an opportunity to put in one cheesy joke in as an ice breaker, or you could just keep it simple and sincere. Just make sure you say something about how grateful you are to be the best man, and maybe a few words on the ceremony.
• Then go on to introduce your story: 'What I would really like to do first is share with you some of my earliest memories of....'
• After the story it might be a good idea to say something more serious to balance the speech. Say something about on how you will miss your friend greatly, but are happy very for him, and grateful he has found someone as special as the bride. Wish them happiness for the future. Try not to use to many cliches and just be honest.
• Finally finish up with a toast, 'I'd like to ask everyone to join me in raising their glasses to the happy couple, Mr and Mrs...'
• Then get yourself a well earned drink, soak up the glory and enjoy yourself.

Final Tips

• Make sure you practice your speech out loud. Do not underestimate how much this will help you. Practicing to family and friends - even in front of the mirror - will stop you mumbling and losing your voice on the day.
• Drinking before the speech is a personal choice. It can be a disaster as alcohol and adrenalin do not mix well, but one or two glasses may take the edge off your nerves. Remember that giving a drunken speech might be hilarious to your friends, but might not go down so well with the brides family. Before the speech at least, try to drink in moderation.
• Finally be sure to enjoy the experience and remember that nothing can go wrong if you are well prepared. Good luck.

Wedding Reception

Print Article

View All Articles

How to subscribe to feeds